About to be really honest with you

The picture below was taken on October 10th by a guy (and his girlfriend ... this doesn't go anyplace good) who really liked the look of Phoebe and who, I suspect, was totally enamoured with his new iPhone.  He asked if he could take a picture of the dog.  This, while strange, is not the first time this has happened, so I said yes.  What harm is there in that?  Little did I know, until he emailed it to me, that he took a pic of the BOTH of us.  Yikes!  First off, this is NOT an outfit that I would wear anywhere but to walk the dog.  It is comfy and stretchy and the shoes are OK if she walks all over them or gets them dirty, cause they are old-ish.  

So, he took the picture and emailed it to me and I never heard from him again.  But I was so shocked when I saw it.  Is that *really* what I look like???  Aparently, it is.  Aside from the fact that I am chubby again (yo-yo anyone??), what shocked me was my posture.  That is not standing tall by any stretch of the imagination.  But this must be what I project to people.  

It was interesting to see this picture because it was a true candid. I had no idea that any part of me would be captured.  I was even standing with my feet apart so that they would not appear behind Phoebe's butt (in case you are wondering why I was standing like that). 

The email that I got with the pic has been sitting in my inbox since then because moving the email seems like an admission that it exists, and I don't like that. This is not a flattering picture! When I first got it, I was all "Oooh!  I have to lose some weight!!".  That was October 10.  What changes did I make?  None!  Not one.  Why? Cause I was packing and getting ready to move and it was too much to worry about at the time.  Then I was moving and unpacking, and it was too much to worry about at the time.  Then I was getting organized and starting to get really serious about training Phoebe, and it was too much to worry about at the time.  And now?  Well it is the holidays, and it is too much to worry about at this time.  See a pattern?  Bugger that!  I went last week and joined Curves.  And then yesterday I added some exercise at home for the days when I can't get to Curves (cause it really is not realistic when I have been at the office all day to then leave Phoebe again to go to the gym.  I *heart* teleworking, however, and will go on the days I work from home).  Cause there are always going to be excuses.  Always.  What there is never going to be is more time.  My family does not have a good track record for living long, healthy lives.  One grandpa died in his mid 60's, and the other in his early 70's.  My Dad's Mom died in her late 60's (I think).  My Mom died at 45, and Dad had a massive stroke at 63.  An uncle has died in his early 70's.  These numbers scare the shit out of me because they are well below national averages.  When Dad has his stroke, the research I did suggested he was young for that type of stroke.  

But instead of fixing the problem, I am continuing to wallow in my own bad habits.  Ask me how much holiday baking I consumed today.  Why? Cause I was bored.  Work is slow before the holidays, but I was tied to my computer nonetheless. So, I ate.  As I always do.  Ate, and read. 

As easy as it is to say "I have to make changes", making them is a completely different story.  I honestly don't know what is going to happen now.  But I will let you know.