I am a font of useful information when people ask. You want an opinion? Sure thing!! I gots tons of 'em. But when it comes to following my own damn advice, I freeze up.
Case in point - A friend has been trying the online dating thing, and I keep nudging her to just be brave and respond to guys. "What is the worst that can happen", I say. When I am speaking about HER life, the worst that can happen is that one of you isn't interested. BUT! When it comes to me, the worst that can happen is that he won't be interested in me. He will find me fat and unappealing and gross and ugly and not funny in the least and all my worst suspicions about myself will be true and proven and I will go have to live in a cave somewhere so that I do not subject myself on human-kind anymore. Drama queen much? Why, yes thanks! Don't mind if I do.
So, what happened today that makes me feel the need to share this tidbit with you? I was perusing a dating site, and got an IM from a guy. Well, pluck me bald and call me drafty! Instead of responding to his "Hi - how are ya?", I had no idea what to do or say at that moment. It was like every single ounce of intelligence that I possess suddenly left the building along with Elvis, and I was rendered stupid. Really very stupid. I had to call my friend up and get her reassurance that I was not going to die on the spot because I was chatting with a guy, and that I really would get through the experience. I believe there was a reference to the state of my sanity at some point, but that is old news folks. Old news indeed.
I am not brave. Sometimes I play brave on TV, but when it all comes down to it, I am a big pile of shy and insecure. One of these days I would really really like to settle into a life with a human male and maybe make a little human of our own. But since that is not likely to happen from the comfort of my couch (at least not yet ...) I am pretty sure that I need to get braver and put myself out there.
Hey - anybody out there got a cute brother they feel like setting me up with? I am only slightly damaged, but I can cook and I am kinda cute.
3 comments:
Girl, you have a set of steel ones. What you talked about describes me EXACTLY, the mortifying fear that "he just won't like me" keeping me from trying anything other than bitching about being single. Thanks for writing down what I don't have the balls to. MWAH!
Love you babe & my advice remains the same: hit reply or adopt more cats.
... vague disclaimer: more cats could make attracting a *human* male somewhat more difficult. Unless you want crazy cat man. Which for some reason, I've never heard of.
M :-)
someone called for a crazy cat man?
no, but srsly, always remember that they are more afraid of you than you could possibly be of them.
- g
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