It has been weeks, nay, months!! since I posted anything, for a variety of reasons that I won't bore you with. But mostly related to being very busy and more than a little .... off.
Mid last year, I made the decision (with my doctor - I am not an idiot) to go off all mood-related medications. This was a mixed-blessing sort of decision, because on the one hand there was a HUGE yay that I wasn't experiencing the redonkadonk side effects from the meds. On the other hand .... no meds. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Now, I am not a person who is off-the-wall, batshit insane without my meds. But I used to be (years ago). For a while there, I made LiLo look totally normal (except I didn't have all the skinniness, bisexualism and drug abuse). This time, once I went off the meds, I had a spell of dizzy like you would not believe. I could not walk more than a few meters without stumbling a bit. I was walking around like a drunk all freaking day. For weeks. Less than pleasant? Yes. Yes it was.
That's all over now, though. Now all I have to deal with is the fact that I don't know how to deal with the minor depression and everything. I was not born with coping mechanisms (like most of us are not), and I was not taught them. My parents were prone to "do as I say, not as I do", and it is a miracle that I am not more messed up than I am.
Where was I going with this? Oh ... right.
So. The point is that I have been trying to learn how to cope with everyday stress and stuff. I took on some volunteering (which I LOVE and have met some fan-freaking-tastic people) and am getting out a lot more than I used to, which is good for me. Holing up at home is bad for depression, so getting out is a good idea. So, I am getting out. A lot. Yay me!
BUT! Cause there is always a but. And my butt is expanding. Yeeaaaaah. Turns out that my main form of "coping" is to eat everything in my cupboards at one time. And sleeping. I luurrrve sleeping. While food and sleep are necessary parts of life, in excess they are unhealthy. I read recently that in order to break a bad habit, you have to replace it with a good one. Something about how the brain is wired and that you can't just STOP doing something if it is ingrained into your being. Overeating and sleeping in are hugely ingrained on my psyche. So the major question now is - what the hell do I replace overeating and oversleeping with???? I am never going to be able to solve the problem of my yo-yo waistline until I deal with the psychological aspect of the WHY I do things.
I have no idea why I suddenly decided to share. Maybe I am hoping that someone out there (all 3 of you who read this :P ) will have a suggestion that will help. Maybe I needed to vent. Or possibly I just missed blogging and finally felt up to trying it again. Who knows. It is entirely likely that you won't hear from me again for another 6 months and by then I will be all svelte and sleeping 7 hours a day. HAHAHAHA! I am so funny :)
Maybe tomorrow I will tell you about the date that I went on on New Year's Day. Cause there is no better way to start the year than a date that will go down in history .....
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