Friday, January 8, 2010

What a way to start the year

You know those dating stories that you swear people must have made up? A lot of them are here.

Here is mine.

Kelly and I had emailed back and forth a bit on an online dating site in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Then I got busy and didn't reply for a while, but picked up again close to New Year's. On New Year's Day, we finally got to the fabled "phone conversation" stage. Woot! Or maybe not ....

The conversation itself was great. He was funny, we had common interests, live in the same area (like a less than 10 minute walk from my place) and so we seemed to get along really well. He asked if I wanted to be spontaneous and go out for a drink that night, so I said "ya - sure!". We then agreed that since we live so close to the pub he chose (remember that detail .... HE chose it), whoever left their apartment first would call the other, and we would meet at the same time.

I called him as I was leaving (which was about 3 or 4 hours after we talked, and 5 minutes before the agreed-upon meeting time) and I swear upon all that is good and holy, that it sounded like he didn't remember we were going out. But he recovered enough to say that he would be a bit late.

Strike 1 - lateness.

When he got there, he "didn't recognize you (i.e. me) with curly hair". Um. What???? I have had curly hair since BIRTH and do in my profile pic as well. Strike 2 - inattention to detail or just plain stupidness.

Strike 3 was that he looked NOTHING like his profile pic, which obviously was way outdated. WAY outdated.

Strike 4 was cause walking through the pub was like being with Norm from Cheers - he apparently knew everybody. Which is why he likes going there - I get it - but it is not really conducive to a first date. Why he could not have chosen a pub where he was not as well-known, I don't understand. Maybe it is a guy thing.

So, we sit down. I ordered a Rickard's White. He ordered a Budweiser. Automatic strike, so we are up to 5. (I am sorry, but who orders a Bud on a first date??? Bud should be relegated to tailgate parties, northern Ontario weddings and camping trips. Sheesh.)

We made polite chit-chat, but I had already decided that I would have a beer and be outta there. That is until we ended up in conversation with the table of 3 beside us. I'm still not 100% sure how that happened, except for the fact that one of the "hair of the dog" women thought she had bumped my chair or something. Either way, we ended up talking to them. For well over an hour. Basically, as soon as we started talking to them, I stopped worrying about trying to get along with my "date". Which was peachy, cause these two sisters and one of their boyfriends were freaking funny.

All was going well until the topic of movies came up. The single sister (as in not the sister with her boyfriend there) mentioned that she was really excited about smoking some pot and going to see the new Alice in Wonderland flick. Kelly was also very excited by this prospect, so HE GOT HER PHONE NUMBER. People, I shit you not. So, now we are up to strike 8 (6 was the pot smoking, 7 was the fact that his profile said he didn't do drugs so he lies, and 8 was the phone # thing).

I should have just up and left, but really I was having fun with these folks. Eventually I got bored, though, so I made an excuse and dropped a $20 on the table. More than my fair share of the bill, but I didn't want to wait for change. As I was leaving, it came out that it was our first date (the sisters were shocked, needless to say). I said my goodbyes to all, and Kelly pulled me over to ask if I was OK. The sad reality is that I had more fun with the strange table beside us than I knew I ever would with him. I assured him I was fine, and got the hell out of Dodge.

Eh - whatever. Live and learn, my friends. And what I learned is that if you don't take risks, you don't get anywhere. As far as I am concerned, that was a great way to ring in the first day of the new year.

Oh! But I did hear from him 2 days later. He still has no clue why I left. I guess that brings us up to strike 9 :)

1 comment:

georgepechtol said...

zomg, that story was hilarious and awesome, if not a little sad. it does tend to beg the question however, that if your date could go so horribly wrong because your guy is so totally clueless, then how is that well-behaved, well-informed dudes seem to fare about as poorly? TO seems so incredibly mismatched in that all the nice, well-balanced people hook up with total idiots, and vice-versa. maybe we all just need one more round of musical chairs to get things working again?
- g